The breakfast butler

The life and times of Isabelle Free

Isabelle Free’s arrival into the world had been difficult and unpleasant, as her mother always reminded her. Mrs Free regularly recounted the story of the birth and how she had almost died while delivering Isabelle. Mrs Free had exhibited a discernible feeling of animosity towards Isabelle ever since.

Isabelle had little interaction with people and spent most of her time with the family dog, an Affenpinscher called Sadie. After developing an unusual speech defect that sounded not dissimilar to a dog’s bark, Isabelle began attending a speech and language therapist. She loved going to visit the speech therapist, Mrs Nash, because she was allowed to stand on the desk and make as much noise as she wanted. After 12 months of therapy, Isabelle could read fluently and test results showed she had the IQ of a nine year old.

Isabelle attended the local primary school but quickly established an unsavoury reputation. A disagreement with a classmate, Brian Munro, over who was going to use the red crayon ended with the crayon in question up Brian’s nose. Brian was taken to hospital and Isabelle was taken to the head teacher’s office. The crayon was retrieved from Brian's nose successfully and he suffered no permanent injury. This failed to stop the playground rumours that Isabelle had pushed the crayon so far up Brian’s nose that it had punctured his brain and that is why he now walked with a limp. After this day, the other children allowed Isabelle to use whichever crayon she wished.

Isabelle found primary school childish and preferred to spend her time with Sadie down at the canal. Her sense of companionship was indivisible from her relationship with Sadie. Isabelle didn't have much of a relationship with her parents. Mr and Mrs Free had always made it clear to Isabelle that they had wanted a son and that he would have been called Andrew. Sadie died aged 14. Three months later, the Frees got a new dog, a Greyhound called Sadie.

Throughout secondary school, Isabelle won a number of national science prizes including the Higgs Boson Prize for Junior Science, the F Sherwood Rowland Young Scientist Prize, and the Aberfield Award for Interesting Experiments. Mr and Mrs Free didn't like science and showed little interest in Isabelle's achievements.

Isabelle was offered an apprenticeship at the local nuclear power plant. The normal duration of the apprenticeship was four years but Isabelle finished it in two. Sadie watched from the window as Isabelle walked to the nuclear power plant on her first day as a qualified engineer. She was 17 years old.

Isabelle became a well-known face at the plant, as did Sadie, who ended up coming to work with her each day. After three years, the marketing team designated Sadie the mascot for nuclear power and Sadie spent many overnight trips travelling the country as part of the 'Nuclear Power: Man's new best friend' campaign.

Some years later, Isabelle received a letter advising that her parents had been killed in a microlight accident. Mr and Mrs Free had won a voucher for the flight in a competition on the back of a box of Bran Flakes. The neighbour who had written to Isabelle said that Mr and Mrs Free had been excited about the trip and that she was glad that they were together when they passed away. Apart from the occasional Christmas card, Isabelle had not had any contact with her parents since she was 22. In their will, Mr and Mrs Free left Isabelle their cat, Fancy. The remainder of their estate was left to charity. Isabelle didn't really like cats but accepted Fancy into her home with Sadie. She did not attend the funeral of her parents. Six months later, Fancy's body was found in a wheelie bin with multiple stab wounds.

Later the same year, Sadie had a stroke and was discovered, unresponsive, on the floor next to the magazine rack. A copy of Greyhound Star magazine lay open next to her. Isabelle buried Sadie in her garden beneath a monkey puzzle tree and had a plaque made which read: 'You will always be my Sadie'. Six weeks later, Isabelle brought home a Norwegian Elkhound. He was called Sadie.

Isabelle stayed at the nuclear power plant until she was in her mid-50s, by which point she had risen through the ranks of the plant hierarchy and each year was invited to play golf with the directors. During a routine property search of staff lockers during the Christmas party, it was discovered that Isabelle had been stealing plutonium for use in home lab experiments. She was dismissed on charges of gross misconduct.

Finding herself with more spare time on her hands, Isabelle got a second dog, a mongrel who she called Sadie. Isabelle, Sadie and Sadie took many day trips over the summer and visited every seaside town on the east coast. In each place, they sampled the ice cream. Isabelle's favourite was a double nougat while the dogs preferred oysters.

One day Isabelle was on the way back from the shops with Sadie and Sadie when she realised that she had lost her purse. There was wasn't much money in it but her favourite photo of Sadie was inside one of the pockets. She went to the police station and was overjoyed when the police officer told her someone had handed it in. She asked the officer if she knew who handed it and she gave her the person's address. Isabelle was so pleased to get the photo of Sadie back that she decided that she would get them a thank you present. Since she had lost her job at the nuclear power plant, she had been dabbling in crafts, and she made the person a macrame owl keyring.

Isabelle took Sadie and Sadie round to the person's house which was just a short walk away. She rang the doorbell and Lesley Billington answered. Isabelle explained who she was and Lesley invited her in for a cup of tea. Sadie and Sadie stayed outside in the garden. Lesley was very grateful for the keyring and they agreed to meet again the following week at the local park.

Lesley was a tree surgeon by trade and loved to tell Isabelle about the different types of trees in the park as they walked Sadie and Sadie. Isabelle and Lesley began spending all their time together and for the first time in her life, Isabelle felt a deep love for another person. They were married in a civil service where Sadie and Sadie wore small velvet cushions attached to their backs to carry the rings.

Isabelle and Lesley enjoyed married life. He taught her the difference between a hickory and a hawthorn and she showed him how make a volcano from hydrogen peroxide. One day Isabelle had been down at the canal with Sadie and Sadie. When she returned home, she heard a noise and looked out the kitchen window which faced the back garden. She noticed that Lesley's ladders were on the grass. He came into her sight and was carrying a chainsaw. He turned and saw Isabelle at the window, waved, and pointed over to the other side of the garden. She looked across and saw the monkey puzzle tree chopped in two and the half with Sadie's plaque on it was lying on the grass. Isabelle divorced Lesley.

For her 60^th birthday, Isabelle decided to treat herself and came home with Rhodesian Ridgeback which she called Sadie. Now her family was complete.

Milwaukee Art Museum

The Quadracci Pavilion was completed in 2001 and designed by Spanish architect Santiago Calatrava. 

40 Days of Choice

Every year at this time, the anti-choice group 40 Days for Life spends the 40 days leading up to Easter (the traditional period of Lent) picketing abortion clinics, spreading misinformation, and generally harassing women and staff going in and out of the clinics. This year the 40 Days of Choice campaign has been launched to celebrate the right to safe, legal abortion.

A woman's right to choose has been under an increased threat recently with plans to allow anti-abortion groups publicly funded pregnancy counselling services, despite the defeat of similar proposals in a parliamentary vote last year. Diane Abbot, Shadow Public Health Minister, resigned from the cross-party group on abortion counselling accusing the Government of trying to push through the anti-choice agenda irrespective of public opinion. 

A survey of ten crisis pregnancy centres that offer pregnancy choices counselling to women found that only two of the ten centres offered good quality information while others with referred to the ‘baby’, showed women baby clothes or handed out literature that stated abortion caused an increased risk in breast cancer.

Meanwhile, an investigation by The Telegraph found that a number of private clinics are offering abortions on the grounds of sex-selection which is illegal. Pro-choice activists have warned that this should not be used as an excuse by the anti-choice movement to tighten restrictions on abortion.  

Also this week, two Catholic midwives in Glasgow lost a legal case to avoid participating in abortion procedures because of their 'conscientious objections'. They claimed that having to supervise staff who were taking part in abortions violated their human rights. A judge ruled that they did not have direct involvement with procedures.   

On a positive note, I came across this great short film, Obvious Child, 'A romantic comedy about an unplanned pregnancy, an abortion, and a great first date in an unlikely location'. So it is indeed possible to have a cute love story with the odd abortion thrown in for good measure.

An abortion clinic is an unorthodox first date venue but still looks like fun

Notes on Satisfaction No.1

Reading a book on the bus and finishing a chapter just as the bus is approaching my stop.